Monday, September 01, 2008

The 2008 Darwin Awards

You've been waiting for them with bated breath, so without further ado here are the 2008 Darwin awards.

Eighth Place
In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.

Seventh Place
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who 'totally zoned when he ran,' accidentally, jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

Sixth Place
While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom! When it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

Fifth Place
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

Fourth Place
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.

Third Place
After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up!, and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.

HONORABLE MENTION
Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed.

RUNNER UP
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable, lay near by. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER IS...
Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief.
Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded.
The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him.
It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves... 'Shit happens'

IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE POOL

12 comments:

rockpaperdynamite said...

I'm sure that every place I've seen this has the runner up and the honorable mention mixed up.

The honorable mention goes so someone who failed to remove them selves from the gene pool, and last time I checked my biology textbooks you can still procreate when missing a foot.

S said...

化妝品包 裝 化妝品盒 紙盒 彩色印刷 彩盒 14藥盒 老人癡呆症 情緒管理 慈善 慈善基金會 慈善機構 婚友 婚友社 婚友聯誼 婚友聯誼社 愛情公寓 聯誼 Hook and Loop 加盟創業 健康滷味 洗包包加盟 洗鞋加盟 Injection Mold Injection molding Light guide panels Mold design Mold development Plastic injection molding Plastic injection Plastic Products apartment 日租套房 台北日租 台北民宿 酒店式公寓 汽車美容 汽車美容 汽車美容 訂婚喜餅 訂婚禮盒 喜餅 喜餅價格 喜餅禮盒 彌月送禮 肉毒桿菌瘦臉 整型診所 醫學美容 醫學美容診所 外遇 徵信 徵信社 月子中心 美國月子中心 美國月子中心 美國月子中心 團體服

S said...

租台北辦公室 出租辦公室 租辦公室 辦公室出售 辦公室出租 中古車估價 中古車行 中古車行情 中古車買賣 二手車 汽車借款 借款 當鋪 融資 票貼 當鋪 汽車借款 北區借款 桃園當鋪15 北區當鋪

S said...

近視雷射 眼科 眼睛雷射 無刀雷射 雷射近視 台北辦公室 安泰登峰 商用不動產 廠辦 外遇 徵信 徵信社 桃園房屋仲介 桃園房屋買賣 104人力銀行 104求職人力銀行 1111求職人力銀行 找工作 求職 中古車 led招牌 招牌 招牌製作 法拍屋 油漆工 油漆工程 油漆粉刷 桃園土地 桃園房屋 桃園房屋仲介 桃園房屋買賣 桃園房屋網 桃園房屋 桃園房屋仲介 ISO9001認證 射出成形 無塵室射出 塑膠製成品 1塑膠模具設計 精密射出 模具開發 膠框 導光板 縫衣機塑件 外遇 徵信 展場設計 展覽設計 會場設計 104法拍網 大台北法拍屋 台北法拍屋 房屋仲介 房屋買賣 板橋法拍屋 法拍 法拍屋 法拍屋查詢系統 信義房屋 婦產科診所 印刷

S said...

辦公室 辦公室出租 律師 seo 關鍵字 關鍵字行銷 關鍵字 關鍵字行銷 汽車美容 food processing mixers frying machine patty machine vegetable machine 工廠風水 命理風水 居家風水 風水 風水地理 風水擺設 勘輿 陽宅 陽宅風水 辦公室風水 印刷服務 近視 眼科 泰國 近視雷射 眼科 印度 西班牙 京都 東京 法國 美國 英國 埃及 義大利 2歐洲 casino gaming machine gaming machine manufacturer slot game machine slot machine cabinet slot machine manufacturer 婚紗照 婚紗攝影 婚禮 結婚 禮服 seo

S said...

104求職人力銀行 104人力銀行 104求職人力銀行 1111人力銀行 31111人力銀行求職 統一發票9 10月 中古車 中古車買賣 台北人力銀行 特色餐廳 景觀餐廳 親子餐廳 黃金價格查詢 金價查詢 黃金 黃金買賣 黃金價格查詢 今日金價 金價查詢 金價 黃金價格 google關鍵字廣告 網路行銷 關鍵字 關鍵字行銷 關鍵字廣告 壁癌 十分瀑布 台北民宿 台北旅遊網 平溪 花園餐廳 景觀餐廳 渡假村 螢火蟲 薰衣草花園 鐵道之旅 房屋貸款 信用貸款 貸款 外遇 徵信 徵信社 搬家公司 台北搬家公司 seo seo seo 網路行銷 網路行銷 線上客服 環保袋 sum中古車 中古車 中古車買賣 金價 二手車

S said...

玫瑰花束 花店 盆栽 氣球佈置 婚禮佈置 7情人花束 新竹花店 會場佈置 網路花店 蘭花 Bmw ferrari lexus 二手車 中古車 中古車買賣 法拉利 保時捷 福利 < 賓士 賣車 保養 室內設計 清潔公司 清潔公司 清潔公司 命理網 姓名配對 星座 星座運勢 風水 算命 姓名學 剖腹生產 開運印章 月子中心 坐月子中心 飛梭雷射 婦產科 月子餐 抓漏 防水工程 油漆 屋頂防水 屋頂隔熱 浴室 裝潢 漏水 壁癌 舊屋翻新 不鏽鋼 不鏽鋼網 沖孔網 金屬網 金屬擴張網 菱形網 菱型網 製網 衝孔網 hand dryer 3D立體印刷

Anonymous said...

I would like to exchange links with your site www.blogger.com
Is this possible?

Anonymous said...

For any sort of crack engage the integral function to resume.
So do not be late and get your present today. Those expressions represent many problematic
procedures. Try asking her exactly what the best smartphone is.


Here is my web-site - download ifaith v1.4.2

Meinv Chen said...

20150403chenlili
hollister
coach factory outlet
michael kors
michael kors outlet online sale
adidas outlet store
michael kors bags
coach outlet store online
coach outlet
gucci outlet
michael kors outlet online
gucci handbags
coach factory outlet
oakley sunglasses sale
kobe bryant shoes
ray ban glasses
gucci
coach factory outlet
hollister clothing
coach factory outlet online
abercrombie
oakley sunglasses outlet
michael kors
toms shoes
coach factory
ralph lauren outlet
michael kors outlet
tods shoes

chenlina said...

chenllina20150911
toms wedges,toms.com,toms promo code,toms shoes outlet,toms canada,toms shoes sale
nike air force 1
abercrombie & fitch
michael kors handbags
louis vuitton handbags
discount oakley sunglasses
lebron 11
hollister uk
jordan 11
burberry outlet
michael kors outlet
tommy hilfiger outlet
coach outlet store online
kate spade outlet
gucci outlet
jordan 8 playoffs
michael kors outlet
timberland boots
true religion outlet
polo ralph lauren
cheap nfl jerseys
coach outlet store online
adidas original trainers
coach outlet online
uggs on sale
louis vuitton outlet
kate spade
true religion
jordan concords
sac longchamp
new jordans
abercrombie & fitch,abercrombie outlet,abercrombie kids
"toms outlet,toms wedges,toms.com,cheap toms,cheap toms shoes

"
oakley sunglasses
michael kors handbags
coach outlet
coach factory outlet
ugg boots
oakley outlet
michael kors outlet

Fangyaya said...

nike sb janoski
christian louboutin shoes
ray ban sunglasses discount
kobe 10
air jordans
oakley sunglasses
toms outlet
louis vuitton outlet
adidas uk
celine handbags
louboutin femme
nike blazers shoes
polo outlet
louboutin shoes
beats solo
hollister outlet
vans shoes
adidas running shoes
louis vuitton handbags
retro jordans 13
polo ralph kids
ed hardy outlet
beats by dr dre
kd 8 shoes
tods outlet online
jordan 3 retro
louis vuitton bags
louboutin shoes
michael kors handbags
coach outlet store online clearances
christian louboutin wedges
toms wedges
nike store
true religion sale
giuseppe zanotti
basketball shoes
polo ralph lauren
coach outlet store online
michael kors outlet
air max 90
20166.29linlinlin